Barrydale is set to become one of the safest communities in South Africa after Swellendam Municipality passed a bylaw that will make it compulsory for all residents to erect electric fences installed around their properties.
Fortunately the roll-out of this shockingly good plan can be fast tracked with the use of the municipality’s budget surplus.
Swellendam is now believed to be the second most wealthy municipality on the continent having reported a budget surplus of R78-million. The most affluent municipality is Beaufort-Wes, which is also the most beautiful municipality of the lot.
“We hope to have every home protected to the teeth by June 31, 2022,” Swellendam Mayor Francois du Rand said.
“Council accepted a quote from CK Electric Services and the roll-out will begin on April 5 – right after we cut the power at 08:00.”
CK Electric Services chairman, Chris Krag, advised that a generator will be running at The Drunk Skunk Pup to ensure that residents can have a few cold beers while they wait for phase one of operation Witblitz is implemented.
“Look, we can always braai, and you know they will supply the slaai,” Chris said.
“We will generate our own high voltage stream with a state of the art treadmill that converts energy that are generated every time someone complains about service delivery,”
This first of its kind initiative was approved by council at a special sitting which took place at Smitsville Secondary School on Thursday.
It is hoped that by the end of August, Barrydale will look a little more like Lonehill, Johannesburg – once and for all ending this quant country vibe that is so boring.
It is also hoped that, by this time you (the reader) would have looked at the calendar and realised that fake news will be flooding your timeline today.
*Reality disclaimer: Swellendam Municipality, like most municipalities in the world, is facing massive financial challenges due to the effect the lockdown has had on the economy. Best tighten that belt now. Geld is so skaars soos hoendertande.